


A (Fluffy) Penis (Pillow)

by DragonGirl87



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bottom Harry Potter, Comedy, Dirty Talk, Draco Malfoy Is Not Pleased, Harry Potter Is In Trouble, M/M, Penis Pillow, Top Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGirl87/pseuds/DragonGirl87
Summary: Harry can tell that Draco isn't amused, and it's just a bit scary. The right kind of scary.





	A (Fluffy) Penis (Pillow)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post shared in a Drarry Facebook group and ["this article"](https://www.mirror.co.uk/money/four-foot-penis-pillow-goes-20537019). Seriously, I need me a cuddly toy like this, I absolutely do!
> 
> *grin*
> 
> Love,  
Selly

* * *

* * *

“Potter!”  
  
Draco’s holler echoed through Grimmauld Place and feeling the hairs at the back of his neck stand up, Harry shivered. He instantly straightened up a little, inwardly bracing himself for what was about to come. Nothing good, that was for sure.  
  
“Harry James Potter, I swear, by Salazar and his snake and everything holy about magic, if you’re not down here in two seconds, I will hex your balls to another galaxy!”  
  
The threat made Harry wince. He had no doubt that given the right incentive, Draco would follow through, and swallowing hard, he glanced down at his shaking wand hand, then inhaled sharply.  
  
_Here goes nothing_, he thought bitterly, and sheathing his wand in its holster, he closed his eyes, concentrated and apparated down into the living room. Draco did say _two seconds_ so taking the stairs wasn’t an option.  
  
“Yes, love?”  
  
Draco spun around, looking positively thunderous with just a touch of murderous intentions flickering in his silvery-grey eyes.  
  
They narrowed into tiny slits, and Harry at once took a cautionary step back, checking that the door behind him was open and he still had an escape route.  
  
Draco straightened himself up to his full height, placed one hand on his hip and extended the other into the direction of the sofa, pointing at a four-foot-tall light pink pillow with a cute smiley face.  
  
“What in Salazar Slytherin’s name is that, Potter?” he snapped.  
  
“A pillow?” Harry offered.  
  
Draco snarled and hissed, and Harry shuddered.

Ordinarily, Draco’s temper tantrums turned him on, but this particular one scared him.

Draco looked like he was ready to kill, like a dragon seconds away from spewing fire and turning the entire place to dust.  
  
“That is not a fucking pillow, Potter, that’s an oversized fluffy dick, and I want to know what it’s doing _here_, in _our_ living room!”  
  
Draco’s screech hurt Harry’s ears, and he drew up his shoulders and rolled them to hide the tremor that surged through him.  
  
“It was a present,” he said, making a half-arsed attempt at trying to explain himself.  
  
Draco did a double-take and stared at him until Harry felt like his skin had been pierced by a million tiny, extremely sharp silver daggers.  
  
“Who?”  
  
Harry dithered.  
  
“I’d rather not say if it’s all the same to you.”  
  
Draco stomped his foot.  
  
“Who!”

The tone of his voice told Harry all he needed to know. Not answering Draco’s question wasn’t an option.  
  
Harry turned his head and glanced at the door, but before he could make the conscious effort to concentrate and apparate past the house’s wards, Draco spoke again.  
  
“Don’t even think about it, Potter. I’ll ask you one last time! Who?”  
  
“Charliethoughtitmightbefunny,” Harry babbled, hastily pushing the words out past his barely-moving lips.  
  
Draco spluttered.  
  
“Weasley is dead,” he stated flatly.  
  
“Draco, please.”  
  
“I’ve got a nicely-sized cock, Potter, if you want to cuddle it so badly, all you had to do was ask. There’s no need to drag a monstrous fluffy dick into our home to wrap your arms around!”  
  
Harry frowned.  
  
“Exactly how would I cuddle your cock, Malfoy?” he asked.  
  
Draco gave an exasperated sigh.  
  
“Potter, you dimwit, use your mouth. Or has it in the past four years of our relationship escaped your notice that my cock is rather partial to being in your mouth?!”  
  
Harry didn’t quite manage to bite back a smirk.  
  
“Your cock is rather partial to being up my arse too,” he said.  
  
Draco shrugged.  
  
“It’s a gorgeous arse, and you look rather hot on all fours. Now, exactly what’s wrong with the size of my cock, please?”  
  
Harry gapped.  
  
“Sorry?”  
  
“You have an issue with the size of my cock; otherwise you wouldn’t have accepted Weasley’s oversized fluffy dick and placed it so prominently in the centre of our living room sofa.”  
  
Harry grumbled under his breath.  
  
“It got in late last night, so I just left it there. There’s nothing wrong with your cock, Draco. I love everything about it.”  
  
Draco raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
“Do you now?” he drawled.  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
“I do.”  
  
“Prove it.”  
  
Harry’s eyes widened.  
  
“How?”  
  
Draco chuckled.  
  
“Uh, I don’t know, Potter, but you’re a smart lad, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”  
  
Harry sighed, then after a few moments of hesitation, he drew his wand and cast Incendio at the oversized fluffy pink dick.  
  
Draco merely laughed.  
  
“Try again, Potter.”  
  
Harry huffed our a breath of air, then pressed his lips tightly together, feeling mildly irritated.  
  
“Malfoy,” he growled, trying to sound warningly.  
  
Draco gave him a dirty devious smirk.  
  
“Potter, seriously, it’s not that difficult. Or do you need an invitation? Get on your knees, crawl over here, and show my cock some love. If you love everything about it, that shouldn’t be a problem, should it?”

* * *

* * *


End file.
